I lost future 'new comer' in my life...

“Why I had a miscarriage?” “Why me?” I asked the D&G doctor aggravated.

“My wife had 3 times miscarriage before our 1st baby and I’m a D&G doctor, can you tell me what I can do to prevent it?”

He is a doctor, he should know better!!!!!

2 months before my marriage, I was taking the Folic Acid (Fertility Supplementary) and Evening Primrose Oil (Dietary Supplement) in order to increase my fertility level.

First month… failure

Second month… period!!

Third month…. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Believe it or not, we had a big butterfly companied us for a dinner in 3 days on the roll. Like an old folk said, if the big butterfly comes to our house, it is a symbolic of somebody will be visiting the house. So you know already, how this story will be going right?

In our family, we do have our own magical history to know our pregnant status. My mom will normally have been given something by ‘someone’ in her dream. She had a diamond for my sister’s pregnancy and had necklace for my youngster sister’s turn (I wish if it was real). As for me, someone had given her an egg but after a moment, the egg slipped out of her hand and fell.

That was a symbolic of my case. I was pregnant for about 6 weeks before miscarriage. I remember how excited I to get the pregnancy test result after 1 week missed my period cycle. 3 days after that, I had a heavy bleeding and a doctor from Klinik Bersalin Razif, Klang had confirmed that I had miscarriage.

He had advised me to do the D&C (Dilation and Curettage), one of the most common surgical procedures performed on pregnant women to remove dead fetus in the womb.

Me: “It’s pain doc?”

Doctor: “You are given a full general anesthetic, so you will not feel anything during the procedure”

Me: *relieve*

It was only 20 minutes procedures and definitely I didn’t feel anything. The last thing I remember was the pain on my hand after the injection. But, by the time I woke up, the funny story begun.

I vomited a lot when I was still laid down on the moving bed. The nurse said it was due to the anesthetic effects. But once I reached my bed at the ward, the unusual pain attacked my tummy. Muscle contractions and somewhat by pressure on the cervix, to be exact. I think, this is the delivery pain that people always talk about. Oh my God, I had it before the time.

The pain plus the on-off anesthetic effects, makes me really out of conscious. I screaming like a hell and for sure the whole open ward can hear my voice. Sorry to my hubby as he need to face the embarrassment. He tried his best to make me calm and until he shut my mouth with his palm. Hahaha. End up, the nurse came with some pain killer injection to make sure that I rest well without that kind of ‘ugly’ screaming.

I got one week medical leave to rest and long list of food and drink that I can’t consume for the whole 2 months. Don’t be kidding!!!. I didn’t go back to my mom house for confinement as just only for miscarriage kind of confinement (actually I don’t want more list from my mom hehehehe). So I stayed at my sister’s house to rest and bring the 3 cats along.

My hubby had a day trip to his mom’s house to get some Chinese medicine for me. Imagine, apart from long list of confine foods, now I need to consume the Chinese and Malay traditional herbs to keep my body healthy (but my tongue not healthy after all). The best part, due to some ‘ikut pandai sendiri’ kind of confinement, I got the wrong message on the confinement thingy.

Just for your information, the confine foods for delivery and miscarriage are totally different. As after your delivery, the body will be very cold, that’s why you need to wear socks, ‘bertungku (massage with hot stone)’, eat gingers and some hot foods and drinks. But for those who had miscarriage, their body will be very hot. Hence, the food and drinks that they consume should be something can remove the body heats. What I had for my confinement days was all the delivery ladies had during their confinement.

So I had bleeding during my confinement and the next day I had overnight trip to my mom’s house to heal it. My mom gave me to drink the warm water mixed it with the ‘biji selasih’. The bleeding had stop after 2 glasses of water. Alhamdulillah, it works well for me as when your body heat, the biji selasih will help to remove your body heat away.

Thank God as I had my diet well during the confinement. For sure that was a good memory to remember apart of losing the future baby for both of us. The doctors said we will need at least around 2 -3 months before planning to get baby again. Just to make sure that my womb will be rest well before it starts working back.

So please pray for me that I will get twin babies ya!

Note: my cats are used to sleep in the aircond, so at my sister’s house was very hot without proper ventilation. Pinky had 6 hours sleep after went back to our house, in the aircond for sure. Hahahaha. Demanding cat!

otw back house!

6 hours sleep non stop hehehe

My Honeymoon

Short break to Hadyai Thailand for so called our pre-honeymoon getaways. This is happened when we married in summer and have a dream honeymoon trip in winter -__-

We might go overseeas by end of this year to find snow for our real honeymoon. So not bad to have Hadyai as a short getaways just to go out of town for a while.

I made a stopped to Songkhla, there was nothing to see except the ugly mermaid.

This was at Floating market, not as i imagine!

Hubby enjoyed eating the dessert, purposely made like a red chili.

So creative.

I love the hadyai's tom yam, reminded me of the tom yam that i eat in Bangkok. I shopped a lot of office attire there, i got a few of slacks and blazers and....... new hair *cough*

The day when I have a perfect life - my wedding!

Being such of wonderful women for the big day, doing everything that I think that was good at that point of time, I really proud to myself. The day when ‘Tok Kadi’ confirmed that I’m someone’s wife, I’m happy that certain thing that I enjoying (and forcing sometime) has reached to the end. The trips to ‘mandi bunga’ sessions, the trip to the restaurants, cafés (or may some clubs which I can’t recall now? Being such a good girl ah =)), hoping that I might be bumping to a prince charming, the trip to meet up some old friends and by chance if they can introducing me to ‘someone’.

It is too much for me to say that my life is complete now? I have a concrete reason to live, do, walk and work now. Everything seems to fast as my eyes blink.

The chance to have full power to sort out my own wedding, give me more than headache, nervous breakdown, mental illness, lack of sleep and short of time. The feeling has gone mess in its way. I have a tendency to make mistakes (a lot of them), tend to confuse on what the best for me, tend to be choosy and of course tend to be tense when my budget has burst more than I expected. For sure, I learned a lot as I go. At least, I took charge for everything as I wish, I know what the color suit to me, the food go well to my taste, the deco that fine-looking to my eyes, the wedding flow that how it should turn to be and the guest who I think can be the best companion ever (credit to my hubby as being the most understanding partner along this process *wink*).

For a long time I really understood how so many people struggling to choose for their wedding theme. Don’t worry, I had too many of them too. To the certain point, I wanted to have a traditional matrimony comes with ‘silat and kompang’, when I watched the wedding scenes in the Hollywood movies; I think I should go for it too. When I went for the holidays, and I wanted it to be a special day and having a wedding in the train or bus or in the street, should be cool enough!

But when I reached to this age, the theme is does not matter to me. I just wanna it to be simple, nice and surrounded by the people that I adore much in my life. We had decided to have only ‘akad nikah’ (vowing ceremony) and ‘makan beradap’ (eating session) at my hometown. I wish to have a big kenduri to celebrate with the relatives, but it will cause my parents tiring in the whole day. Don’t you agree that the good things always come in the small package? =)

Instead of having the parents, auntie or relatives comes along to the bride’s side, my hubby only came with a few of his friends. Being a new comer to Islam, he had facing a lot of obstacles to dispute his move (I will story in details about this in my next post). But he had a good time during the eating season. At least nobody will question ’what’ ‘why’ ‘who’ ‘when’ about our wedding. We can even eating while laughing and gossiping and finish all the foods served, especially ‘ikan patin masak lemak cili padi’. *never see this kind of pengatin*.

Theme color for my side’s event was pink and I had forced all my family members and relatives to wear pink, includes my father, brother (and in law) and nephew. Everyone was complaining to how difficult to get pink outfit for them and especially for guys. Who cares… this is my wedding anyway! (So mean?)

Our wedding dress was peach pink. Only one outfit for the event and the price is RM300 only and still can be worn for the others event. *save*.

The reception’s dinner was in cream and black, with a background of cream and red. We had it one month after our akad nikah event. This is the good way to save money and time since we were the “one man show” to run this wedding event. At least it was worked for us okey! (Tell me if it work well for you too).

Speaking about the wedding dinner venue, we are the amateur who become specialist now till can give you an advice hahaha. All kind of restaurants, halls, hotels and gardens that we had ask for the quotation and surveyed. At the end, we chose the Felda Villa Restaurant, Jalan Semarak Kuala Lumpur. We had reasonable price and can accommodate about 300 guests since I just wanted the small wedding gathering with the close family and friends only. At least, I can recognize all the friend attended. It’s really embarrassing if I can’t remember who come and not to my wedding.

“You know that you look nice in that wedding dress…”

“I think the photographer had edited my photo well (just referring to those photos that I uploaded in FB)…”

“I saw you in your wedding dinner lar…”

“oh really…gulp”

It’s really turn out as a garden wedding theme that I envy so much. I wanted this dinner more cozy and relax in a mixture of English and Chinese style. We were rented our wedding dress from Venice Wedding Galery Jalan Loke Yew. We had a pre-wedding photo done by them as well, so it was 2+1 package together with that wedding dress. It was really cheap, around RM2, 300 inclusive of make-up too.

We included the Yam Seng session which is a must have in Chinese wedding and I was so surprised when most of my Malay friends are never had this. Thank God that they were enjoying it so much.

What is your first thought if you look at this sign? “RSVP?”. Even in French words, I’m pretty sure that everyone is aware about it. Just to put in another way, RSVP is when the person sending the invitation wo¬uld like you to tell him or her whether you accept or decline the invitation or will you be coming to the event or not? Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly, perhaps that same day. This is something that we didn’t get smooth as we planned. I’m not sure either most of them are not understand what it means or too lazy to bother.

We as a hosts who are planning a wedding reception (not easy okey!), this is important from a practical point of view, because we need to know how many people to count on and how much food and drink to buy. More important, though, is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend. *headache*

Another big wave we had during the dinner when out of 400++ quests that we invited; only 300++ were turn up even in the RSVP said that they will be coming. I’m trying not to be calculative here, but if they take this invitation as important as how we appreciate them, at least just put aside what was the reason behind it. Only once in lifetime that I get married or might be others people’s lifetime. It doesn’t look nice when people had put so much hard work just for you to sit, watch and eat during the dinner, end up the chair left empty. Or if you have known that you will not be able to turn up, at least notify early for the hosts to make another arrangements or to invite another guest, which for God’s sake really wanted to attend too. It’s better than make the hosts feels embarrassing and sad to see no people to turn to their wedding. You wouldn’t feel it until you had faced it one day. *what you give, you get back*.

Needless to say, those who attended had a smashing time. It’s just ordinary Malay & Chinese wedding but organized with our full heart and sincerity. So much details and efforts were we put into it and all of the guests appreciated it as well, I’m hoping.

The big celebration has come to the end but for us as a newlywed it is just a start of our new life together. As we go home, may this day be memorable for all of you and to us too. We would like to thank to all the families and friends who had sacrificed their time to help us a lot with the preparation and not to forget to those who are attended. You know who you are and may God bless you forever.

Amin.

Corporate Social Responsibility

My current Company’s commitment to our communities is a vital part of our corporate initiative. It is the company's goal to promote healthy, high functioning communities in locations where our major plants and offices reside. Our continuing mission is to be a socially aware and responsive global citizen wherever we operate the business.

(My Company means that the company that I am working with now. Not yet my own company. Thank you.)

We take the charge as per Government order to give back what we have taken from the Community. So, in collaboration with my birthday this year (ehem… only me who so perasan about this collaboration thingy, it’s got nothing to do with other colleague hehehehe), I made myself free for the Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) event on 15 May 2010 at Petrosains Discovery Centre, KLCC Kuala Lumpur with the orphanages from PERNIM (even more had to organize the event too, 3 weeks before the event).

It wasn’t an easy task to handle about 50 of them and even more, they came from the same house, same friends and with the same guardian. So, they used to each other, they didn’t feel scared or awkward or anything to at least make us easier to handle them. Moreover, out of 7 of the guardians that following us that day, 4 of them were blind. Oh my God! My tears almost burst that day, to see how they survive. Some of them are now suffered from HIV/AIDS, some of them are losing the parents and the guardians are not someone who is at least being able to take care of themselves.

I give two thumbs up to the founder of this house. I manage to speak to her before the event ends, and she told me that all the basic life were fully extended to the children, yet they live in luxury compared to other orphanages centers. She didn’t even allow us to let the children to queue before entering the Petrosains, because she doesn’t want people to treat the children as an orphanage than normal child. Oh my God, again, that wasn’t our intention to do that, we just only following the procedures before entering the centre. Hopefully, she understood.

Oh, that’s explaining how they came by with Toyota Alphard, Toyota Estima and Honda Accord 2.0 that morning. =)

The children came by with their own uniform and there were 3 different colors to differentiate the age of the children. I love the green one; they were 1 – 3 years old and love to attach to us. I addressed them as ‘geng gagak hijau’ because they were the naughtiest among them. We need to hold (dukung) them most of the time. Can you imagine how tiring it would be? The moment we finish the event, our face were turning white and I am pretty sure that we were exhausted and dehydrated.

But, for sure, we were happy while doing it. When I looked at them, only God knows how grateful I am on what I have now. Even far from perfection, but at least I still have parents and family who I can be with whenever I need them.

The children need us more than we think. If you have a free time, why don’t just drop by and spend time with them. Sometime, they don’t really need your money since they might get from the government or the corporate organization through this CSR program, but they just need someone who can with them while they having their homework or someone who can company them before they go to bed. You don’t lose anything either, just you might need to spent just a few cent to buy a tissue to rub your tears. Believe me, it worth than you think.

The orphanage centre details:
Rumah Kebajikan Anak Pesakit HIV/AIDS Nurul Iman (PERNIM),
Lot 46 Jalan 47, Bukit C,
Cheras Baru, Kuala Lumpur

Tel: 03-42950775, 017-8860208
Fax: 03-42951079
Email: norlina_pernim@yahoo.com

Account No.: 2-14013-6000-3173 (RHB Bank)
Account Name: Pusat Perlindungan PERNIM