1st Raya as a WIFE

A few months before Raya, I had prepared our Raya outfit. Raya theme this year was peach color and not quite difficult to find it one as my hubby will wear back his outfit during our solemnization day. I had 2 outfits only and bought it at Sogo Supermarket. I’m not really fancy about Raya outfit as I’ll think twice to wear it again after Raya. Beside I wear it to the Kenduri; it really unusual to see me wearing Baju Kurung to office.

so ugly right???

I was so excited to celebrate this Raya as a wife. During Ramadhan too, I manage to gone through the fasting days and break fasting dinner with my hubby. This month also, he started to learn how to pray and remember the surah to read during prayer. A bit funny to listen how he pronounced it, but may God will accept his weakness and sincerity for doing it.

Hubby is even excited to celebrate it. He sponsored a lot of thing to bring back home. Every Raya, my task not to buy the Raya cookies but the snack and sweet that we can give to the children. So we bought cheap stuff at Selayang, a few big packs and all were finished in the first day Raya.

Every house that we go, all our neighbors also excited to see my hubby as a person. They are even happy to serve my hubby with the local cookies and dishes since hubby is a Chinese. My parents are happier than us as to see the neighbors that always hangout with them are willingly accept my hubby as a new person in the community.

This Raya too, all my siblings and nephew were at my parents’ house to celebrate the Raya. Around 35 people in the house and trying hard to find the space to sleep and sit =). We were also celebrating it in the new house (partly). 2 weeks before Raya, the contractor only manages to complete the front part of the house only and you can see so obvious the house half 'batu' and half 'kayu'. We went back Kampong a bit early to paint the new house to golden yellow color. Can you imagine how we manage to complete the paint after 'sahur' till to the dusk during Ramadan? It was really tiring and all of us were dehydrated but still happy while doing it.

the whole family

Only the Mother & sisters in the family

Hubby is in charge of the wiring and maybe to hot and tiring, his BP goes up very high 2 days before Raya. Luckily, still have the shop open to complete the wiring thingy. So end up, he needs to sponsor for the wiring cost. Serve him right.

On the 3rd Raya, hubby left the house for Sabah to work. I was sad to let him go and my cat Pinky was even more. 1 day after hubby left, Pinky went missing. Hubby kept calling from Sabah to find out about Pinky every single hour. I knew he was really sad and even more when he can’t do anything to find Pinky from there. I supposedly to go back to KL with my sister, but Hubby insist to go back Kampong to find Pinky first. Too bad, it wasn’t easy to find a cat in a huge place and we finally went back KL without Pinky and his tears burst along the way.

One week after that, my sister called and informed us that Pinky was back home. We both damn happy and without thinking, we were going back straight to my parents’ house. Pinky was so thin and dirty. He was also hurt and bleeding. He might not have anything to eat during those 7 days. Quenny and Tommy are really happy to see pinky back again.

Since that day, we grounded Pinky and he seems very scared to see others cat too. But we were happy to see how he eat and put some weight so fast. This Raya really give us all mixture feeling while celebrating it. But some say, this is what we call life…

Okey not too late to wish all the Muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir Batin.

I lost future 'new comer' in my life...

“Why I had a miscarriage?” “Why me?” I asked the D&G doctor aggravated.

“My wife had 3 times miscarriage before our 1st baby and I’m a D&G doctor, can you tell me what I can do to prevent it?”

He is a doctor, he should know better!!!!!

2 months before my marriage, I was taking the Folic Acid (Fertility Supplementary) and Evening Primrose Oil (Dietary Supplement) in order to increase my fertility level.

First month… failure

Second month… period!!

Third month…. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Believe it or not, we had a big butterfly companied us for a dinner in 3 days on the roll. Like an old folk said, if the big butterfly comes to our house, it is a symbolic of somebody will be visiting the house. So you know already, how this story will be going right?

In our family, we do have our own magical history to know our pregnant status. My mom will normally have been given something by ‘someone’ in her dream. She had a diamond for my sister’s pregnancy and had necklace for my youngster sister’s turn (I wish if it was real). As for me, someone had given her an egg but after a moment, the egg slipped out of her hand and fell.

That was a symbolic of my case. I was pregnant for about 6 weeks before miscarriage. I remember how excited I to get the pregnancy test result after 1 week missed my period cycle. 3 days after that, I had a heavy bleeding and a doctor from Klinik Bersalin Razif, Klang had confirmed that I had miscarriage.

He had advised me to do the D&C (Dilation and Curettage), one of the most common surgical procedures performed on pregnant women to remove dead fetus in the womb.

Me: “It’s pain doc?”

Doctor: “You are given a full general anesthetic, so you will not feel anything during the procedure”

Me: *relieve*

It was only 20 minutes procedures and definitely I didn’t feel anything. The last thing I remember was the pain on my hand after the injection. But, by the time I woke up, the funny story begun.

I vomited a lot when I was still laid down on the moving bed. The nurse said it was due to the anesthetic effects. But once I reached my bed at the ward, the unusual pain attacked my tummy. Muscle contractions and somewhat by pressure on the cervix, to be exact. I think, this is the delivery pain that people always talk about. Oh my God, I had it before the time.

The pain plus the on-off anesthetic effects, makes me really out of conscious. I screaming like a hell and for sure the whole open ward can hear my voice. Sorry to my hubby as he need to face the embarrassment. He tried his best to make me calm and until he shut my mouth with his palm. Hahaha. End up, the nurse came with some pain killer injection to make sure that I rest well without that kind of ‘ugly’ screaming.

I got one week medical leave to rest and long list of food and drink that I can’t consume for the whole 2 months. Don’t be kidding!!!. I didn’t go back to my mom house for confinement as just only for miscarriage kind of confinement (actually I don’t want more list from my mom hehehehe). So I stayed at my sister’s house to rest and bring the 3 cats along.

My hubby had a day trip to his mom’s house to get some Chinese medicine for me. Imagine, apart from long list of confine foods, now I need to consume the Chinese and Malay traditional herbs to keep my body healthy (but my tongue not healthy after all). The best part, due to some ‘ikut pandai sendiri’ kind of confinement, I got the wrong message on the confinement thingy.

Just for your information, the confine foods for delivery and miscarriage are totally different. As after your delivery, the body will be very cold, that’s why you need to wear socks, ‘bertungku (massage with hot stone)’, eat gingers and some hot foods and drinks. But for those who had miscarriage, their body will be very hot. Hence, the food and drinks that they consume should be something can remove the body heats. What I had for my confinement days was all the delivery ladies had during their confinement.

So I had bleeding during my confinement and the next day I had overnight trip to my mom’s house to heal it. My mom gave me to drink the warm water mixed it with the ‘biji selasih’. The bleeding had stop after 2 glasses of water. Alhamdulillah, it works well for me as when your body heat, the biji selasih will help to remove your body heat away.

Thank God as I had my diet well during the confinement. For sure that was a good memory to remember apart of losing the future baby for both of us. The doctors said we will need at least around 2 -3 months before planning to get baby again. Just to make sure that my womb will be rest well before it starts working back.

So please pray for me that I will get twin babies ya!

Note: my cats are used to sleep in the aircond, so at my sister’s house was very hot without proper ventilation. Pinky had 6 hours sleep after went back to our house, in the aircond for sure. Hahahaha. Demanding cat!

otw back house!

6 hours sleep non stop hehehe

My Honeymoon

Short break to Hadyai Thailand for so called our pre-honeymoon getaways. This is happened when we married in summer and have a dream honeymoon trip in winter -__-

We might go overseeas by end of this year to find snow for our real honeymoon. So not bad to have Hadyai as a short getaways just to go out of town for a while.

I made a stopped to Songkhla, there was nothing to see except the ugly mermaid.

This was at Floating market, not as i imagine!

Hubby enjoyed eating the dessert, purposely made like a red chili.

So creative.

I love the hadyai's tom yam, reminded me of the tom yam that i eat in Bangkok. I shopped a lot of office attire there, i got a few of slacks and blazers and....... new hair *cough*

The day when I have a perfect life - my wedding!

Being such of wonderful women for the big day, doing everything that I think that was good at that point of time, I really proud to myself. The day when ‘Tok Kadi’ confirmed that I’m someone’s wife, I’m happy that certain thing that I enjoying (and forcing sometime) has reached to the end. The trips to ‘mandi bunga’ sessions, the trip to the restaurants, cafés (or may some clubs which I can’t recall now? Being such a good girl ah =)), hoping that I might be bumping to a prince charming, the trip to meet up some old friends and by chance if they can introducing me to ‘someone’.

It is too much for me to say that my life is complete now? I have a concrete reason to live, do, walk and work now. Everything seems to fast as my eyes blink.

The chance to have full power to sort out my own wedding, give me more than headache, nervous breakdown, mental illness, lack of sleep and short of time. The feeling has gone mess in its way. I have a tendency to make mistakes (a lot of them), tend to confuse on what the best for me, tend to be choosy and of course tend to be tense when my budget has burst more than I expected. For sure, I learned a lot as I go. At least, I took charge for everything as I wish, I know what the color suit to me, the food go well to my taste, the deco that fine-looking to my eyes, the wedding flow that how it should turn to be and the guest who I think can be the best companion ever (credit to my hubby as being the most understanding partner along this process *wink*).

For a long time I really understood how so many people struggling to choose for their wedding theme. Don’t worry, I had too many of them too. To the certain point, I wanted to have a traditional matrimony comes with ‘silat and kompang’, when I watched the wedding scenes in the Hollywood movies; I think I should go for it too. When I went for the holidays, and I wanted it to be a special day and having a wedding in the train or bus or in the street, should be cool enough!

But when I reached to this age, the theme is does not matter to me. I just wanna it to be simple, nice and surrounded by the people that I adore much in my life. We had decided to have only ‘akad nikah’ (vowing ceremony) and ‘makan beradap’ (eating session) at my hometown. I wish to have a big kenduri to celebrate with the relatives, but it will cause my parents tiring in the whole day. Don’t you agree that the good things always come in the small package? =)

Instead of having the parents, auntie or relatives comes along to the bride’s side, my hubby only came with a few of his friends. Being a new comer to Islam, he had facing a lot of obstacles to dispute his move (I will story in details about this in my next post). But he had a good time during the eating season. At least nobody will question ’what’ ‘why’ ‘who’ ‘when’ about our wedding. We can even eating while laughing and gossiping and finish all the foods served, especially ‘ikan patin masak lemak cili padi’. *never see this kind of pengatin*.

Theme color for my side’s event was pink and I had forced all my family members and relatives to wear pink, includes my father, brother (and in law) and nephew. Everyone was complaining to how difficult to get pink outfit for them and especially for guys. Who cares… this is my wedding anyway! (So mean?)

Our wedding dress was peach pink. Only one outfit for the event and the price is RM300 only and still can be worn for the others event. *save*.

The reception’s dinner was in cream and black, with a background of cream and red. We had it one month after our akad nikah event. This is the good way to save money and time since we were the “one man show” to run this wedding event. At least it was worked for us okey! (Tell me if it work well for you too).

Speaking about the wedding dinner venue, we are the amateur who become specialist now till can give you an advice hahaha. All kind of restaurants, halls, hotels and gardens that we had ask for the quotation and surveyed. At the end, we chose the Felda Villa Restaurant, Jalan Semarak Kuala Lumpur. We had reasonable price and can accommodate about 300 guests since I just wanted the small wedding gathering with the close family and friends only. At least, I can recognize all the friend attended. It’s really embarrassing if I can’t remember who come and not to my wedding.

“You know that you look nice in that wedding dress…”

“I think the photographer had edited my photo well (just referring to those photos that I uploaded in FB)…”

“I saw you in your wedding dinner lar…”

“oh really…gulp”

It’s really turn out as a garden wedding theme that I envy so much. I wanted this dinner more cozy and relax in a mixture of English and Chinese style. We were rented our wedding dress from Venice Wedding Galery Jalan Loke Yew. We had a pre-wedding photo done by them as well, so it was 2+1 package together with that wedding dress. It was really cheap, around RM2, 300 inclusive of make-up too.

We included the Yam Seng session which is a must have in Chinese wedding and I was so surprised when most of my Malay friends are never had this. Thank God that they were enjoying it so much.

What is your first thought if you look at this sign? “RSVP?”. Even in French words, I’m pretty sure that everyone is aware about it. Just to put in another way, RSVP is when the person sending the invitation wo¬uld like you to tell him or her whether you accept or decline the invitation or will you be coming to the event or not? Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly, perhaps that same day. This is something that we didn’t get smooth as we planned. I’m not sure either most of them are not understand what it means or too lazy to bother.

We as a hosts who are planning a wedding reception (not easy okey!), this is important from a practical point of view, because we need to know how many people to count on and how much food and drink to buy. More important, though, is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend. *headache*

Another big wave we had during the dinner when out of 400++ quests that we invited; only 300++ were turn up even in the RSVP said that they will be coming. I’m trying not to be calculative here, but if they take this invitation as important as how we appreciate them, at least just put aside what was the reason behind it. Only once in lifetime that I get married or might be others people’s lifetime. It doesn’t look nice when people had put so much hard work just for you to sit, watch and eat during the dinner, end up the chair left empty. Or if you have known that you will not be able to turn up, at least notify early for the hosts to make another arrangements or to invite another guest, which for God’s sake really wanted to attend too. It’s better than make the hosts feels embarrassing and sad to see no people to turn to their wedding. You wouldn’t feel it until you had faced it one day. *what you give, you get back*.

Needless to say, those who attended had a smashing time. It’s just ordinary Malay & Chinese wedding but organized with our full heart and sincerity. So much details and efforts were we put into it and all of the guests appreciated it as well, I’m hoping.

The big celebration has come to the end but for us as a newlywed it is just a start of our new life together. As we go home, may this day be memorable for all of you and to us too. We would like to thank to all the families and friends who had sacrificed their time to help us a lot with the preparation and not to forget to those who are attended. You know who you are and may God bless you forever.

Amin.